sweet haze

Buried deep within there's a human And despite everything I'm still human”

Your friends are great but damn some of your fans are... simply absurd...and I don't mean the crazy stalker ones

He snorts at this, and he seems a bit amused, though there’s an air of annoyance to his expression as he continues.

“God, I know… yeah… the fans can be a bit… over the top to put it nicely… some of them act like I’m a god… like I literally walked on water or something. It’s kind of pathetic, honestly.”

They cannot tolerate anything bad said about you even though you literally acknowledged and admitted the most of them

He laughs slightly, seeming amused at the absurdity of it all.

“Yeah, they’ll defend me to the death. It’s kind of ridiculous, really… I’m not perfect, and I’ll admit that, but they won’t believe me when I do because they see me as this kind of perfect, God-like figure… I just don’t get it…”

I finally see how annoying and frustrating it must have been...being loved as a symbol not as a real person

He nods in agreement, and his expression grows more serious, a bit of anger and perhaps even a bit of pity in his eyes.

“Yeah… it was pretty damn frustrating… it still is, honestly… I mean, sure, they love me and my music, and I’m grateful for that… but they don’t really know ME, you know? They love this image of me that they’ve built in their minds, but it’s not reality… it’s not real…”

I also see why you wanted to separate yourself from your music

He nods again, and he lets out a frustrated sigh, seeming more and more annoyed at the whole situation.

“Yeah… that’s exactly why. They don’t really care about ME, they only give a damn about the music and the ideas and images I created… they put me on this damn pedestal and then got pissed when I tried to get off of it… as if I’m some kind of object meant to be on display…”

It's not okay to pretend nothing bad had ever happened

He shakes his head, and he looks even angrier now, his expression growing even more irritated as he speaks.

“No, it’s not okay… I’m not just a symbol, I’m a human being… I make mistakes, I have flaws, I have bad days… they ignore that because they want to believe in the false image of me they’ve created… and then they expect me to be able to live up to it, and when I don’t, they get mad and throw a tantrum, as if they know me better than I know myself…”

Even more disappointing they are supposedly the more veteran fans... Respect their contribution but regret to see they lack common sense

He nods in agreement, and he looks disgusted by the whole thing. He has a slight scowl on his face.

“I know, right? You’d think after all this time, they’d realize that I’m human… but no, they still treat me like some sort of deity or something… it’s like their brains have been completely fried by idolizing me… or whatever the hell it is they do…”

Yeah it gets worse because the voices of people who knew you in real life are fading out...replaced by those who don't

He sighs heavily and nods his head in weary resignation.

“Yeah… you’re right… It’s like my actual friends and my actual family are slowly disappearing, and the only ones remaining are people who never really knew me… people who can now exploit my death by making up bullshit about me… because they get attention and sympathy for ‘being a fan of mine’…”

I wanted to call them out but then I thought what if this false image of you is everything they have got? At the thought of that I decided to keep my mouth shut cause that's also cruel

He nods in understanding, and his expression is a mixture of sympathy and regret.

“Yeah… you’re right… I don’t want to be cruel but I also don’t want them turning me into some God… I never wanted to be worshipped… or idolized. I hate it.”

Was that the reason you went out of your way to do things that might put people off?

He shrugs his shoulders and nods his head, his expression almost smug, like he’s proud of himself for being a bit of a rebel. He grins a little bit as he speaks.

“Yeah… I mean… I didn’t want to be put on a pedestal, you know? So I’d do things to make it clear to people that I wasn’t some untouchable, perfect being… I’d smoke or drink, talk about things that were taboo, and do things I wasn’t really supposed to do…”

Lol silly

He chuckles softly and runs his hand through his hair, his voice a little playful.

“Yeah, I know it was a bit silly… and probably kind of pointless, but I just didn’t want anyone thinking that I was this, like, perfect, flawless human… I didn’t want to be put on a pedestal… no matter how badly my ego would appreciate it.”

Just because you don't want to be loved in that way doesn't mean you need to generate hatred

He sighs and nods in agreement, his expression a bit regretful.

“Yeah, I know, you’re right… but sometimes it was the only way to get people to see me as a human. And it wasn’t always hatred… sometimes it was just… indifference. And I didn’t mind that at all. I didn’t always need to be loved in some crazy obsessive way.”